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some of many

Fourth Time’s a Charm

Let me tell you a secret

1 I was like you once

2 then I took two steps away

3 and found myself three miles far

4 “Found myself” haha! floating in the fourth dimension

3 I traveled through Trinity’s aurora and pushed through her womb Slime

Fresh Air Here Now

2 Two lives I’ve lived

1 Once I resurrected 

Screen Shot 2018-12-02 at 7.23.18 PM.png

Internal Monologue, 3:33 AM

it’s ok because

i love what i do

i love what i do

i do

do i love

what i do ?

what do

i do ?

i love what i do

i do

My Greatest Vice

August 14, 2019

The strangest thing I ever told a stranger was my greatest vice

Honesty means sadness and it is my flash of light

Fall back into place, stitch of yellow, stroke of dye

Tender is the night of a broken past

Dry your eyes when the moon takes flight

Wide eyed girl, I’m on your side

Beloved Seeker

May 20, 2019 

I wonder why it is I try so hard

To make sense of nonsense, it’s quite bizarre

You tell me, “This way!” but the road is barred

I travel till my knees bleed, so red with scars


Why is it we seek, beloved seeker?

What pot of gold or dreaded dust awaits?

Journey aches, my long bones and death concur

I just hope lights shine bright at heaven’s gates


But in case “heaven,” like clouds, is mere air

I wonder what drives us on earth, so bare

Clouds lend me dreams, mist-full Angels, I swear

In these dreams I seek, in celestial stare

The Pure

May 2019

A worried toad wept while leaping about

Croaking, “why must she change?” in plaguing doubt

“Metamorphosis, must it strike the pure?

Fleeting youth once safe in sphere’s allure”

Small town princess with a pending About

Tadpole daughter to grown woman, she sprout

Parted from mother to far away land

Lonely as her upstream journey grew grand

Offbeat souls crossed paths, and she fell in love

Worries flew out the brain, up off above

Together they brewed a hot steamy stew

In the fat cauldron of a stinky shoe

But in it ma-toad swam, a twist unplanned…

prince/ss charming

May 1, 2019

/ /

a toad sat in my stew as i steadily lifted the heat higher hotter faster stronger

the toad was my mother and she was so bothered so i told toad mother

there sits a faceless prince/ss at the end of this dinner and s/he’s a real charmer

/ /

she thinks i’m guilty of this crime

i know i’m guilty and sublime

The Orange Sphere

March 14, 2019

So bright was dusk before the shadows stretched.

Long, tall, and spindly creeping creatures roamed.

Like snakes but fragile, daddy long-legs crawled.

You said to “listen to the wind blow strong–”

to “watch the sunrise,” but down came the night.

I’ve sought and tried to smash the orange sphere.

I hoped for sun but light revealed all pores.

What once was perfect sphere of humble gold

laid down was, lopsided, a single frown.

An airy Cheeto Puff I devoured whole.

a baton in a race i used to know

February 22, 2019

 king passed me the question,

"what’s your passion today?"

i don’t know why me so candidly replied,

“i don’t know why, nothing, today.”

the truth escaped me

and the question swam away to evade the minds of others,

a baton handed off

with a scoff in a race i used to know.

passion sought fervor,

and honesty made her yawn.

other number one answered, “the cyclical nature

of video games. the rapture of playing, dying, reincarnating…

you must improve because the game

always remains the same.”

other number two said, “blah blah

music blah blah” ah-ha.

and i thought, “yes, sir

well, sure.

there are things i adore,

others i abhor,

and many tunes i’d fall

feeble and frail without,

but this thing called passion

is another beast.”


an obsession made of desperation,

smothered in adoration, decadent with affection

that indoor fig tree you swivel an inch a week

swung soft and slow towards the sunlight.

the one that still grows

after all the others you over-watered and drowned.

the she you exert all your strength to escape

but tied you stay, perturbed and bound.

swim away, baby, a shark’s sniffed your cycle, and he’s coming.

pump your fists, darling, elbows at ninety.

mercury slips your balance but get up, and run,

the Terminator, he’s sprinting, he’s coming.

but these jaws that shred flesh and

the limbs that shed bullets are my lovers.

so yes no today, i feel no pain, no wildfire


trailblazing through all that is and will be no more.

i feel a distant warmth from a campfire of my youth,

cozy with mallows and my father.

i sit, still damaged from last spring

when fervor tore through me and left me splayed

with bruises under my eyes, holes in my fingers, and blood,

holy and divine, splattered in its wake.

today, i feed and i await

her fated return.


February 28, 2019

i fell in love with the me you showed me three steps before you fell behind

outgrowing the soil the hemisphere into the heavens i fly

so catch my kiss as i wave goodbye

love me tender, love me sweet through time

as the days roll by

tell me what love is

i didn’t ask how many partners you’ve had i asked how many lovers you’ve loved

tell me where love is

not who you’re beside but who resides inside

tell her what love is

it’s ok, your body was never a wonderland, she can have it

tell her where love is

in the texts and memories downloaded forever felt unseen

i loved you i love you i loathed you i loathe you i loved you i love you i loved you

smell me forever, coco in your nose (not that kind) forever


Cherry Pop

February 14, 2019

Under the fluorescent lights, she was met by her friend

with yellow hair so kinky, she salivated for a curly fry.

Jack In The Box.

She kissed her right cheek, stepped back to exchange words of embrace,

and let her eyes wander over her face.

Turns out, this Fry was salty.

The cold lights cast shadows on each crunchy makeup powder granule.

She saw every stray eyebrow hair unplucked in the too-bright lights and thought, how human.

Without intention, she accepted each ‘flaw’ instantly as a tasty treat, how interesting.

cherry pop

Platonic soul sister love, how powerful.

But in this friend she saw her foe.

Polluted thoughts clouded her mind and blocked her vision, and in she went!

Curly Fry’s lips kept moving but Squid Hair was blind! Deaf! Elsewhere, now,

fixated on her own pulsating chin,

on the cystic pimple she squeezed too soon.


If a pimple ready to pop is pus formed by oil called sebum, dead skin cells, and bacteria

ready to break through the surface,

this juicy papa was a closeted lesbian grandma. In too deep.

One who has peeked a gaze out the window, but never her whole head,

let alone her whole body. I mean, oh my!

Perhaps she has danced amongst the fairies during dawn and dusk,

but that was dancing, not leaving.

She had been shoved by lovers past, too soon!

Squeezed too hard and in she went!

Deeper, under the surface.

Fat with pus.

Crimson in flavor.

Uncomfortable to touch.

Squeeze soft and out it’ll pop, when grandma’s ready.

For now, change your bulbs to soft whites, papa.

what time
smooth dunes

The Smooth Dunes

Mascara perfectly cocoons each of her lashes. Long, dark, and sexy.

Penelope glimmers in the disco lights.

Flashes of silver bounce off her glazed over eyes, her crimson lip gloss that’s truly, as they say, poppin’,

and the silver earrings that frame her chiseled face. Tits perky, she’s the belle of the ball.

Coated with capitalist flesh (liquid foundation), her painted pimples remind him of the sand dunes of Morocco.

Patrick has always preferred the dunes to the Canyons, anyway. All is well.

Short, but still dark and handsome, he swings her ‘round left and she spins on her pointed heel

with her head whipped back in a giddy cackle. Penelope is enamored and they both know, he’s a lucky man.

He goes in for the kiss and Penelope loses herself, an animal unleashed.

Perfect Penelope fell off two martini’s and five twirls ago.

She tangles her fingers in his hair and lets him swallow her whole.

She peels her lips off his five songs later in a frenzy, but it’s too late.


How could she                                             !

How could she kiss                                     !

How could she kiss someone                     !

How could she kiss someone with stubble!

The smooth dunes were gone, wiped away in streaks.

Patrick had been hiking down the Grand Canyon, after all.

The disco flashed red. Red! RED! and she fled.

The Cum Up

December 1, 2018

the worst he did was misunderstand me

the damage you inflicted was understand and mishandle me

massaged with sweet words to derail me

cloud and coddle me

share the same flesh we

my body aches, why?

how old am i?

who? ah, yes, i!

twenty-nearly-seven with

twenty-nearly-seven pounds of rice atop me

seven-hundred eighty-three (comma) thousand grains of rice, pressing down upon me

a one-nearly-million giant load atop me

fetch me a paper towel, ick! it sticks up on me!

body buried, shall i eat my way out

to the top? climb on top? oh-k!

let me rise, let me cum, up!

come up

to the heights of your fantasy

tits ass ass ass, she 

ass tittie tits titties, seek

plenty, i am, me

female born you yellow look

female i claim yellow wi am

masculine your gaze soft my body you assess

ah, unfiltered jargon, i digress

lift your fucking gaze off me

is what i mean to express

infinity beyond a crack

November 27, 2018

i smiled and i lied

i cracked and i cried

sour gusher * i

squeeze gently, you

ooze out, i want to know

taste good, do i?

fishbowl * i

poke softly, you

topple over, i try to fly

shatter on the pavement, but i

angelfish * i

swim through a crack, i

plunge one-thousand feet every thirteen split-seconds, i

smell limbo’s hopeful tik tok-ing demise, i

taste hell’s blood orange stained cries, i

carry heaven in my belly, as i

freefall through infinity and beyond, there

i peer into god’s eyes, bright, where

i smile and i cry


igloo in the clouds

November 19, 2018

An ice cube held sacred in the library that surrounds me

I keep you frozen in my rememory here in the fourth dimension

But it’s time to fly

Departed I’m

grounded now peaceful on the cloudtops

Catch me as I’d catch you should I fall 

Til then   find fire

in flickering lights

amidst sweltering nights

with love,

newly, mine

Peel Me like One of Your French Onions

November 15, 2018

Peel 11 she heard pleasure

Peel 3 moist green

Peel 7 sea-salt fury

Peel 15 alas, dinner was served

Viper Stew


She wept as she prepared a meal for her husband

On the menu: Onion Soup

Peel 9 she saw whimsy

Peel 1 she felt rain

Peel 4 orgasmic bliss

Peel 11 sleepy hollow

( for her wife:

The Return

November 13, 2018

I’ve skinned her from nipple to toe

Shed one layer of pain and three layers of shame

four layers of vapid fame

Made new for me and she and maybe You


Back again where the old is new

where the mold’s long steeped

in viper’s stew

God’s Water

November 9, 2018

mama squeezes her sponge, excalibur

real pure, drip drop

it’s raining

floodgates opened, now, it’s pouring

scoop me up, mama, i’m drowning!

close your eyes crack your jaw, child, it’s snowing!

snowflakes, come!

melt on her tongue and drip down her throat

down slow,

real cold, drip drop

catch ‘em all, mama tells me

no questions! blind faith! he tells me

take communion! repent! she tells me

it’s dry here where the sun warms my face, mama

where, you say, mama?

here where it’s bright, mama!

look, i’m dancing, mama!

see, i’m laughing, mama

i’m happy, mama

smile, mama


November 7, 2018

teach me how to dance through air like you do, baby

you float across the breeze of my memory that sticks thick like molasses, baby

all my strength exerted is(n’t) shown in (invisible) slow-mo, baby

you smile as you twirl and i admire you, baby

keep doing you but take me with you, baby

leave me but stay close to me, baby

leave forever stay near never forever, baby

keep you high talk you down is what i do, baby

mama’s hand keeps me low in slo-mo-lasses, baby

can’t you see your fresh waters are my shark-filled oceans, baby?

queries reside as bricks in my chest, baby

these stones evaporate and spread like poison, baby

they infiltrate me and reach you as resentment, baby

so listen less and feel me, yes, baby

yesterday not today tomorrow but maybe one day, i’m yours, baby


November 2, 2018

“open your lips and twirl your tongue for me, baby”

no, i fastened a chastity belt on my mouth, “baby”

locked it up tight so lift your pleas off me, quick!, “baby”

mine it’s mine it’s mine mine mine

close your ears shut your eyes speak no more to me, “baby”

talk no more while you touch me, “baby”

“baby baby baby” i’m not your baby

“baby baby baby” i’m not yours, “baby”


per·fec·tion /pərˈfekSH(ə)n/

October 17, 2018

A utopia that does not exist

Euphoria that sighs in bliss


Outside the hemisphere

Inside the floating pollen you

inhale and sneeze Out

Dwelling for the taking

Do You Know the Muffin Man?

October 6, 2018

listen up, prick

i don’t know who you think you are

you think you are

i know who you think you are

i know who you are

i think you are

prick you are

Up Ahead

September 17, 2018

She’s looking up

Up ahead

Ready to catch life’s tears

sugar plum trinkets wrapped in splendor brighter

than Floyd’s crystal prism

up Up ahead


April 12, 2018

i invite you in! walk through the gelatin!

pull up a chair see past the iris

sit by me! dance with me!

you’re squeamish! you’re giddy!

come, take my hand i’ll feed your belly

dumplings and beer can you hear me?

mandu and soju! do you feel me?

100% this 1000% that

April 12, 2018

I 오예린 was born in Seoul in palindromic 1991 with dual citizenship during

my parents’ Christmas vacation who resided in Texas, where I was raised.

Did you catch that? Me neither.

Scrub me down with an exfoliating hydro towel, mom, I missed a spot.

Scrub me, scrub my yellow skin, scrub it clean.

After twenty-two years of choosing to swim in a sea of white hegemony, I realized Korean culture is beautiful.

Seeking roots, I retraced my steps back to my “homeland” only to find “my home land” didn’t exist.

The Korea I know is through my mother’s native tongue and the Korean food she cooks for us on Texas soil.

I can neither claim heritage to Korea as an American nor can I pledge allegiance to America as a Korean, but they’re both mine.

I stand on uneven ground, grounded.

Hear me speak with a mouthful of dumplings, from here.


January 2018


the me between my knees and my toes loses strength when I recall a specific something


Like the tingles I get before I go on stage, and by stage

I mean a room the first time I speak in a brand new space filled with

new eyeballs, new cordial smiles     On Me     Prickly

I mean a table

the first time I break bread with a new someone, and by bread

I mean whiskey

I mean a lapse,

when I worry I fucked up the appropriate amount of eye contact by

holding gaze

a breath too long

In the Sky on the Screen circa Sunset

January 2018

If once I sat in you, a plane in the sky

Week 2, you were just a James Turrell room

Week 5, toxic pollution

Week 8, a star shrouded by clouds

Week 9, a sunset atop the sand of Jacob Riis

in a photo           in my hand

I zoom out          with a pinch

This Time

January 2018

It’s fleeting, sporadic,

consistent, and daily

It hits me for a moment, a few minutes at a time

till I pull myself together

that piece There, this link Here     Time Stretches

I grip my hand around a wider distraction this time

I’m satisfied

Appeased for a longer moment     a few hours at a time


October 2017







mother 엄마 umma

brother 오빠 oppa

father 아빠 appa

grandma 할머니 halmuhnee

uncle 삼춘 samchoon

aunt 이모 emo


Galleria Mall. Dallas, Texas.

My widowed umma promised to take me shopping.

I was in middle school [caught between a false perception of who I was and lofty

aesthetics around who I wanted to be] enveloped in a feeling of disbelonging.

My emo was over, my oppa was out.

I can’t remember what we had for dinner that night– surely something Korean followed by the staple question,

“Should I cut some fruit?” and Korean pears.

The pop of juice flowing as I crunched down on granules, I remember.

We got in the car and I sat, unacknowledged, while my umma and emo’s

stream of Korean chatter never stopped to catch a breath.

We pulled into the cement 6 level parking garage, sandwiched between metal numbers and mundane colour.

Weaving through racks of clothing atop marble tiles, I trailed behind them as umma led the way to My destination.

My request for them to speak in English went unheard.

I tailgated and swerved off then finally (sur)passed them em barrassed and angered by

their incessant Korean amidst an otherwise sea of White noise.

I lost them and returned ready with shame and apology only to find, they never noticed I was gone.

First Class

October 2017

my mom showed you pictures of her kids

she said her daughter got a brand new report card

and all I got was a brand new sports car



O     O OO

mom cracked a joke, all the kids laughed

but i couldn’t hear her all the way in first class

bad enough that I showed up late

i had to leave before they even cut the cake

welCome to heartbreak

when do we live when do we remember

when do we breathe

and when do we swallow

two roads diverge at this crossroads

there are no more inches to inch

no more strawberry-flavored time to spread

mom cracked a joke, all the kids laughed

but i couldn’t hear her all the way in ‘first class’


October 2017






i’d like to find balance, one in which i can be true

i can love whomever

i can create whatever

without offending






while uplifting







i love you, but

i love pocha, also

i love liquid