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trinkets

1984

1984

Yes there were japes recalling the years of lost paths
As you open the door and told me how you love me so much
The resistence to feelings was something that you've put down before
But keep quiet of it, as you could not face it anymore / Too much has changed, I can't let you walk in in the night
I wish away my love, leave with the dawn
Acting as if all the pain in the world was my fault
Leave me here, my love, don't say goodbye / No one's easy to love
Don't look back, my dear, don't be surprised
No one's easy to love
Don't look back, my dear, just say you tried / There was a question you asked: is your father a man?
No, but I think you should do ask of yourself the same
What is the difference between now and then I'm not sure
Prove me wrong, my dear, don't say I lied

my granddaddy was a player see i met him later on, think it was 1991 the only dad i’d ever know, but pretty soon he’d be gone too hide my face, hide my face, can’t let ‘em see me crying cuz these boys ain’t had no fathers neither, and they weren’t crying my friend said it wasn't so bad, you can't miss what you ain't had well, i can i'm sad, and there will be tears, i've no doubt there may be smiles, but a few and when those tears have run out, you will be numb and blue /i can't be there, that's all you had to say to me you couldn’t be there why couldn’t you say it to me? you won’t be there you could want me you wouldn’t be here for me

when i was younger i used to wonder

when it comes to being true

nursery stories out of rhyme chasing faces lost in time. /losing count of hours to keep singing songs from yesterday it's got to feel so good to get away lonely hearts club left behind there's no shame in pain, there's only time rider /broken watches keep the time chasing heartbeats just like mine every streetlight deep in glow blinking blue, green and yellow singing songs of yesterday it's got to feel so good to get away /broken engines, burning gas, every moment from my past making time for being late buried neatly under gates singing songs of things to come it's got to feel so good to come undone

아빠

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things i almost remember /figures dancing gracefully, across my memory

i would die inside if you ever stopped the dreaming /if there’s a god, i wonder what she looks like /i bet she looks like you

i feel it happening i guarantee with every inch of me tonight i'll sleep with demons in my hair that talk to me the whispers in the trees are getting near it’s only just a dream

adolescence is a marketing tool. /who needs a crowd? who put such a high premium on being typical? you’re unique. take those extra years and do what you want. go to europe for a year. take a look around! see what you like! follow your dream.

Baby boy, you're a matador Just the kind of trouble that I adore Your dirty Nikes still on my floor Get a glimpse of you That I can't ignore

let's take off our masks & be so naturelle
let's behold ourselves & break this evil spell

not afraid to die free & not afraid to die alone

This morning I woke up
I don't recall the time
I had the most amazing dream
Oh but never mind
I'll tell you over breakfast in a minute
I wish you could have seen it
Let me rewind
But you really won't believe me
Not even if I said
I wonder what it means
Is goin' on in my head
You think I should be worried?
Man it's gettin' blurry
In my mind / I wish I could remember
Exactly what it was like
The things I'd do just to take me back
When I shut my eyes
And it's out of my control this time
Boy don't I know
Boy don't I know / I'm sorry for the wait
It's still a bit of a haze
This ain't no California dreamin'
More like a London daze
Teeth the right places
There are no spaces
In my mouth
Can you give a man a break?
And give his dog a bone?
I know I felt it at the time
But it's not real though
I am still here
Looking you clear
In the eye

엄마

Workin' my fingernails down to the bone Since I've been here, you won't pick up your phone Been a long week, I'm not used to bein' alone And I've been combin' my hair out from hours till dawn Jewelry is faded from golden to bronze Guess I'll just never get used to bein' alone It feels like my days are gettin' longer, my body's growin' weak I'm about to go apeshit if you don't get back to me

on the days we were together, time would glide. /it was malignant. it was hopeless. there was no negotiating with the feeling. no choice. it was my first love, it changed my life. /imagine being thrown from a plane. i wasn’t in a plane though. i was in a nissan xterra. /i wept as the words left my mouth. i grieved for them, knowing i could never take them back for myself. /thank (you) from the floor of my heart. /great humans, probably angels. i don’t know what happens now, and that’s alrite. i don’t have any secrets i need kept anymore. /i won’t forget you. i won’t forget the summer. i’ll remember who i was when i met you. i’ll remember who you were and how we’ve both changed and stayed the same. /i know i’m only brave because you were first.. so thank you. all of you. for everything good. i feel like a free (wo)man. if i listen closely.. i can hear the sky falling too.

you cut your hair but you used to live a blonded life /wish i was there, wish we’d grown up on the same advice, and our time was right /now and then you miss it, sounds make you cry. some nights you dance with tears in your eyes. i came to visit, cuz you see me like a ufo /you made me lose my self control /keep a place for me

i think that i'm good just because i behave, but i've reached stalemate, i'm a self made cage. they poked me with a stick because they wanted to see if i was alive or just pretending to be. but my bones are in my body, not in my grave.
turns out, i am free & i pretend to be a slave. /yes the window still opens if the door is closed. afraid to die free. afraid to die alone. /like diamonds form from pieces of coal, use your pressure. this is your magic tool.
this is the way to form a precious jewel.

we’re gonna see the future first living so the last night feels like a past life his girl keep the scales, a little mermaid / i may be younger, but i'll look after you we're not in love, but I'll make love to you i'm not him, but i'll mean something to you / it’s only awkward if you’re fuckin’ him too

if i were you, i would take the love i'm giving to you i believe that love is a living thing born into our destinies from a single moment of inspiration and as it grows, it changes your life forever if i were you, i’d trust in me like i trust in you